Communications Breakdown
I’m not sure I have a good understanding of the capitalist world. I’m fairly certain the point is to buy and sell goods and services in an effort to help ourselves to a better place. I must admit, I am no entrepreneur; I am mostly just a consumer, and may therefore not be privy to all the ins and outs of the capitalist system. I may be a bit confused on the point of the whole deal and maybe someone can help me out. Allow me to tell you an amusing story that recently happened to me.
The date is February 8, 2007, and every male that is in a relationship of some kind knows what day is fast approaching. They had better, because their significant other certainly does. For those of you reading this with a confused look on your faces, that day is Valentine’s Day (now, turn off the computer and run to the store. By my calculation, you only have three days left from the date of this posting. Run, boy, run!!!). I had several sweet and thoughtful gifts picked out for my lovely lady, all of which she would appreciate and adore and would lead to a “romantic” five minutes of pure sexual bliss. For me, at any rate. And then the unthinkable happened. Her cell phone died. Not so much died really. It was more like it was fatally wounded. Her screen went blank, and while she could still use all of its miraculous functions, she couldn’t see what she was doing. I give her all the credit in the world. I would have cried and screamed and tested the resiliency of the product by throwing it against several very hard objects. But she is a better person than I (and perhaps a lot more mature, now that I think about it), and she simply excepted the way things were and is still using the phone. But this gave me a new idea for V-Day. I would be her knight in shining armor and purchase a new phone for her. Simple, right? Ha!
The very next day (see how devoted I am guys? These are the little details that make a woman appreciate you and shows how much you love her. A hard lesson to learn, but worth it), I ran out to her cellular store provider to purchase a new phone for her. I was going to present it to her early and still be able to have a nice dinner on V-Day. See, I am not a wealthy man. Far from it in fact. But I had set aside some money for presents and dinner and flowers and all the usual fare of the holiday which would have been enough for the product in question. Little did I know that there was a kink in my well thought out plan. I walked into the small store set up in front of the mall and began to look at the various phones that were on display. I wasn’t there very long when a lovely young woman behind the desk asked sweetly, “May I help you?”
An easy enough question. So I approached her and answered with a smile, “You sure can.” I had nothing to worry about. I was on a noble mission which would soon reach its end.
I told her I wanted to buy a phone for someone I knew as a gift. She told me no. Now, I must confess that this caught me completely off guard. I have worked in retail before, and work there now as a matter of fact, and have always been told that the customer was always right. This is a fundamental law of retail. Apparently there is a clause written in fine print under that statement that clarifies the meaning, rephrasing the statement as “Assholes are always right”. I looked at her with a confused, dog-like look and asked why. She then responded with a question (which is something you should never, ever do unless you are a politician). She asked me if I was registered on her account. Whew, I thought, she is simply misunderstanding me. You see, I am a loving man, but I have no desire to have my hands in all of my girlfriend’s cookie jars (unless, of course, there are actual cookies in them). I don’t want to be on her insurance, I don’t want to be registered to drive her car, and I don’t want to be listed as being able to make changes to any of her accounts without her knowing about it. That’s just a rude and assholic way of doing things. So I explained to her that I was just looking to buy a phone and give it to my girlfriend as a gift. She would then bring the phone in to activate it a put whatever plan she wanted to on it. I grinned, knowing that we had cleared up any confusion.
Again, she told me no. Again, I’m confused. I must remember to be more of an asshole in the future, because she has said no not once, but twice at this point. Apparently I’m too nice a guy, because she keeps repeating the word she is not supposed to mention. I look at her stupidly and ask her why again. She once again answers my question with one of her own. (God, I hate it when people do that!!) She asks me if I have an account with them. Ha, now it’s my turn. I say, “No”. I am so proud of myself that I forget to be confused by this question. What my account status has to do with my girlfriend’s account status has completely flown over my head, but I was on my lunch break. It would also be a great opportunity to answer her question with a question of my own, which would really piss her off (in my mind anyway), but I was on my lunch break. Plus, I didn’t think of it at the time.
Anyway, after I tell her no (I was still happy about being able to do that. Little did I know she was going to trump me in 3…2…1…), she tells me no. Again! The little minx. She explains to me that if I have no account, and if I’m not registered on her account, I can’t buy a phone. Period. There is no possible way for me to buy a phone from her store. Now, I’m angry. And confused. That little phone tart refused to sell me a phone! And there was nothing I could do about it. So I left. Angrily. I later went on their web site and saw that I could, indeed, buy phones without plans from the company, and I could buy phones on ebay which would work with that company, but I am so displeased with this company that I can’t even fathom buying their products. This is just one case of a disappointed wannabe customer, so I don’t want to discredit the company by telling you its name. But it rhymes with U.S. Cellular. There, I hope you can break the code.
This brings me back to the point of this article. Capitalism. I decided to look up the definition for myself on dictionary.com and I found several meanings available. This was the one that suited my purposes the best.
An economic system based on a free market, open competition, profit motive and private ownership of the means of production. Capitalism encourages private investment and business, compared to a government-controlled economy. Investors in these private companies (i.e. shareholders) also own the firms and are known as capitalists.
This definition tells me that I was indeed correct at the beginning of this post. Capitalism is, indeed, the buying and selling of goods and services between an entrepreneur and a consumer. I left out free market, profit motive, blah blah, but we all get the idea. Now, it seems to me that our lovely phone tart is working against the idea of capitalism. She is not selling me anything, and her repetition of the word no has only made me realize that I don’t need a damn thing from her company. Now, there are several ways to deal with this problem. Thanks to this modern age, I can complain to the company, the newspapers, the president of these United States, the founding fathers through the use of a spiritual medium, whatever. But you, my dear readers, are the first to hear this story (in printed form, at least). From here I may decide to take more decisive action, but let me leave you with this idea. As long as companies think they can do what they want, when they want, we will never be free from corruption in the marketplace. My little story is really not that big a deal, but it shows the iron grip companies have on the consumers. It leads to bigger problems of inflation, embezzlement, theft, Enron, and all the other problems we turn a blind eye to until the media decides to shine its spotlight on them. We are happy and content, because these companies provide us with the things we want. The useless trinkets that we believe we cannot live without. Even when things are enough to make us bitch about them, such as rising gas prices and the use of kids in porn made in California, we still purchase products instead of dealing without. There are alternatives in life, there are decisions we must make, but no change will ever be made without sacrifice. I’m glad we live in the world we live in. It’s a nice place. Hell, it’s a great place. We have everything we want. But that’s just an illusion. Just because we live in the best place in the world doesn’t mean it can’t be better. And that’s our jobs. To make it better.
The date is February 8, 2007, and every male that is in a relationship of some kind knows what day is fast approaching. They had better, because their significant other certainly does. For those of you reading this with a confused look on your faces, that day is Valentine’s Day (now, turn off the computer and run to the store. By my calculation, you only have three days left from the date of this posting. Run, boy, run!!!). I had several sweet and thoughtful gifts picked out for my lovely lady, all of which she would appreciate and adore and would lead to a “romantic” five minutes of pure sexual bliss. For me, at any rate. And then the unthinkable happened. Her cell phone died. Not so much died really. It was more like it was fatally wounded. Her screen went blank, and while she could still use all of its miraculous functions, she couldn’t see what she was doing. I give her all the credit in the world. I would have cried and screamed and tested the resiliency of the product by throwing it against several very hard objects. But she is a better person than I (and perhaps a lot more mature, now that I think about it), and she simply excepted the way things were and is still using the phone. But this gave me a new idea for V-Day. I would be her knight in shining armor and purchase a new phone for her. Simple, right? Ha!
The very next day (see how devoted I am guys? These are the little details that make a woman appreciate you and shows how much you love her. A hard lesson to learn, but worth it), I ran out to her cellular store provider to purchase a new phone for her. I was going to present it to her early and still be able to have a nice dinner on V-Day. See, I am not a wealthy man. Far from it in fact. But I had set aside some money for presents and dinner and flowers and all the usual fare of the holiday which would have been enough for the product in question. Little did I know that there was a kink in my well thought out plan. I walked into the small store set up in front of the mall and began to look at the various phones that were on display. I wasn’t there very long when a lovely young woman behind the desk asked sweetly, “May I help you?”
An easy enough question. So I approached her and answered with a smile, “You sure can.” I had nothing to worry about. I was on a noble mission which would soon reach its end.
I told her I wanted to buy a phone for someone I knew as a gift. She told me no. Now, I must confess that this caught me completely off guard. I have worked in retail before, and work there now as a matter of fact, and have always been told that the customer was always right. This is a fundamental law of retail. Apparently there is a clause written in fine print under that statement that clarifies the meaning, rephrasing the statement as “Assholes are always right”. I looked at her with a confused, dog-like look and asked why. She then responded with a question (which is something you should never, ever do unless you are a politician). She asked me if I was registered on her account. Whew, I thought, she is simply misunderstanding me. You see, I am a loving man, but I have no desire to have my hands in all of my girlfriend’s cookie jars (unless, of course, there are actual cookies in them). I don’t want to be on her insurance, I don’t want to be registered to drive her car, and I don’t want to be listed as being able to make changes to any of her accounts without her knowing about it. That’s just a rude and assholic way of doing things. So I explained to her that I was just looking to buy a phone and give it to my girlfriend as a gift. She would then bring the phone in to activate it a put whatever plan she wanted to on it. I grinned, knowing that we had cleared up any confusion.
Again, she told me no. Again, I’m confused. I must remember to be more of an asshole in the future, because she has said no not once, but twice at this point. Apparently I’m too nice a guy, because she keeps repeating the word she is not supposed to mention. I look at her stupidly and ask her why again. She once again answers my question with one of her own. (God, I hate it when people do that!!) She asks me if I have an account with them. Ha, now it’s my turn. I say, “No”. I am so proud of myself that I forget to be confused by this question. What my account status has to do with my girlfriend’s account status has completely flown over my head, but I was on my lunch break. It would also be a great opportunity to answer her question with a question of my own, which would really piss her off (in my mind anyway), but I was on my lunch break. Plus, I didn’t think of it at the time.
Anyway, after I tell her no (I was still happy about being able to do that. Little did I know she was going to trump me in 3…2…1…), she tells me no. Again! The little minx. She explains to me that if I have no account, and if I’m not registered on her account, I can’t buy a phone. Period. There is no possible way for me to buy a phone from her store. Now, I’m angry. And confused. That little phone tart refused to sell me a phone! And there was nothing I could do about it. So I left. Angrily. I later went on their web site and saw that I could, indeed, buy phones without plans from the company, and I could buy phones on ebay which would work with that company, but I am so displeased with this company that I can’t even fathom buying their products. This is just one case of a disappointed wannabe customer, so I don’t want to discredit the company by telling you its name. But it rhymes with U.S. Cellular. There, I hope you can break the code.
This brings me back to the point of this article. Capitalism. I decided to look up the definition for myself on dictionary.com and I found several meanings available. This was the one that suited my purposes the best.
An economic system based on a free market, open competition, profit motive and private ownership of the means of production. Capitalism encourages private investment and business, compared to a government-controlled economy. Investors in these private companies (i.e. shareholders) also own the firms and are known as capitalists.
This definition tells me that I was indeed correct at the beginning of this post. Capitalism is, indeed, the buying and selling of goods and services between an entrepreneur and a consumer. I left out free market, profit motive, blah blah, but we all get the idea. Now, it seems to me that our lovely phone tart is working against the idea of capitalism. She is not selling me anything, and her repetition of the word no has only made me realize that I don’t need a damn thing from her company. Now, there are several ways to deal with this problem. Thanks to this modern age, I can complain to the company, the newspapers, the president of these United States, the founding fathers through the use of a spiritual medium, whatever. But you, my dear readers, are the first to hear this story (in printed form, at least). From here I may decide to take more decisive action, but let me leave you with this idea. As long as companies think they can do what they want, when they want, we will never be free from corruption in the marketplace. My little story is really not that big a deal, but it shows the iron grip companies have on the consumers. It leads to bigger problems of inflation, embezzlement, theft, Enron, and all the other problems we turn a blind eye to until the media decides to shine its spotlight on them. We are happy and content, because these companies provide us with the things we want. The useless trinkets that we believe we cannot live without. Even when things are enough to make us bitch about them, such as rising gas prices and the use of kids in porn made in California, we still purchase products instead of dealing without. There are alternatives in life, there are decisions we must make, but no change will ever be made without sacrifice. I’m glad we live in the world we live in. It’s a nice place. Hell, it’s a great place. We have everything we want. But that’s just an illusion. Just because we live in the best place in the world doesn’t mean it can’t be better. And that’s our jobs. To make it better.
posted by James White | 7:04 AM
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